Figuring out how to heal can be hard. Everyone heals differently and healing always takes time. It’s okay to figure it out at your own pace.
In an instant, your entire world can be turned upside down. It’s never easy to feel like your life has been taken out from under you. It hurts to know that everything you planned on won’t happen anymore, that plans you’ve made need to be cancelled, that people in your life will no longer be there in the same way they have been for years.
First you cry, and scream, and feel like hiding, because reality hurts too much. At first you feel like you’re not truly awake all day, and for the first time since you were a child, someone else literally sits and takes care of you while you stare mindlessly at a wall. You think it’s all a dream. The next day you feel numb, and sad and bittersweet. Then you start to make choices purely to avoid the pain. You hide away the memories for now because seeing them daily hurts. You spend the day in nature, surround yourself by the trees and water because it’s the first time in days you’ve truly felt at peace. Eventually you start to care about how you look again and start to try and feel better physically. Then before you know it, it’s been a week and you start to take note of what you need in life. And appreciate the things and people that matter. You learn how to heal.
It’s hugging your family after a long time apart. It’s spending time with your best friends who have never left your side over the years. It’s being surrounded by the people you think of like family when you’re away from home.
You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You start to learn more about yourself and what you want out of life. And you realize that what you want may change and that’s okay.
You begin the process of finding out who you are again. Soon the pieces that make up you and you alone will appear, proving that it’s completely fine to live life with someone else, but not for someone else. You have to get used to making choices only based on what you want.
You relearn what it’s like to be an individual and to live life for you and you alone. It takes time and it’s not easy, the path littered with laughter and tears and frustration. As much as you wish you could skip the pain, you realize how helpful it really is. And soon, you’ll be happy again. It just takes time.
All that matters is that you find the strength to get to that point.