Don’t get caught up in the web of invalidity

When someone comes into your life and they seem to instantly connect with you, the automatic assumption is that you were meant to be in each other’s lives. As friends, partners or even just acquaintances. Usually, these feelings are accurate.

But not always. And that is alright.

When someone takes themselves out from underneath the spotlight, choosing to leave, let them leave. If you feel the need to let someone go, or tell someone to go, because the friendship has become unhealthy in some way, trust your instincts.

I’ve had my fair share of friends come and go. Not a lot, not more than I can count on one hand, but an impactful amount nonetheless. It is always hard and it never stops draining me emotionally. This can be said for anyone who has gone through the same situation. If we’re being honest with ourselves, that is most of us in this big world. None of us are immune to changes in life.

But the point of this post is to share that when someone makes you feel bad about who you are or when you feel taken advantage of, you are in the right to step out of someone’s life.

When someone chooses to implant themselves into your life and share every detail of who they are with you, you feel special. It comes off as though you’re this chosen one that people can trust. It’s human nature to feel that way. But sometimes they just need someone, anyone, to listen. And occasionally, the person they really need to talk to is a licensed professional.

However, I can say for myself and I’m sure many other people out there that I do not like feeling as though I’ve been taken advantage of.

I am not weak and I do not like being pushed around. So one shouldn’t assume that just because I am free-spirited and go with the flow, that I will go along with everything they say. Part of life is choosing your battles and if I feel as if something isn’t worth an argument, I won’t waste my breath. That doesn’t mean I agree with everything that is said and done.

Nor do I agree when I listen to someone verbally bash a person from their past, especially when that one person turns into multiple people. I don’t agree with shaming people based on their mental health.

I absolutely do not condone someone forcing themselves onto another human being. That is called sexual assault and you can’t find a way around that logic. Nor can you argue that pushing yourself onto another when they’re not in the right state of mine is okay.

One thing that some people fail to understand is the concept of time. When someone says they need it, it should be given to them, for however long they need. Things that will only push that person away are actions like incessantly messaging or trying to contact them. Trying to get answers from another person. Using guilt tactics or flattery. All of this is verbal harassment and it is also not okay.

As a human being with, in my biased opinion, a fair amount of knowledge, I’d say that these things listed above are all common sense. Basic information that the average aged human being should be aware of.

However, I’ve come to realize that not everyone has the common sense they need. And I pray that they find it or else they’ll soon learn that things in life aren’t handed to them. The things we all want in life are love, shelter, and food. In whatever order that pleases you the most. Play your cards right and you’ll achieve all three.

So, remember in life that when someone comes and goes, it can be either parties fault. All that matters is that the lesson is learned from and that at the end of the day, you remember that however you feel is valid and no one should be able to steal that from you.

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